Seeing as how Valentine’s Day has come and gone recently, I figured I’d dig up some material on Spider-Man’s love life.

My personal favorite romantic interest for Spider-Man has to be Kitty Pryde from the Ultimate Universe. Essentially the equivalent of the Black Cat from the 616 universe when it comes to Spider-Man’s lovers, Kitty has a skin-tight suit, slick powers, an attitude, and harbors an unhealthy affection for Spidey.

Now, I could go through the list of potential loves or tally off a list of girls who shared a web with our hero, but as far as I can tell that’s been done. Instead, if you’ll indulge me reader, I’d like to explore the world of Spider-Man’s first Valentine.

Aunt May.

As you probably know, reader, there is little in Peter’s world that overshadows his love for Aunt May. He’d do anything for her. Even kill. Sorry, a little grim there, but I have a point I’d like to make.

We see evidence of Peter’s willingness to kill for his aunt in Spider-Man Noir, when he takes up a gun against a villain that would harm May. We see it again in the Back in Black arc, from the pages of Amazing Spider-Man, when Peter vows to come back and kill Wilson Fisk upon the moment Aunt May stops breathing.

The way I understand it, this willingness to murder speaks volumes. If you know anything about Spider-Man, you know that he does not kill. Not on purpose, if he can help it. I’ll admit, it’s a pretty common vow that superheroes take. The difference to me is that Spider-Man has remained one of the only heroes who has upheld this vow with such vigor and passion from his start to his present. To the point that, in the arc Ends of the Earth, he commits to the sentiment that while he’s around, no one dies.

Other characters comment on how ridiculous this is, and how impossible it would be for Peter to succeed in achieving that goal, but he just hangs his head and commits. He makes a promise to himself and it doesn’t matter what other people think of it, because they don’t understand. They don’t understand what it’s like to have immense power and hold yourself to an immense responsibility.

This also isn’t him being facetious. It rips him apart morally when he considers that he might have been responsible for a death even by inaction, or merely acting too slow.

Yet he throws this dilemma out the window for one person. Aunt May is the only woman to cause Peter Parker to love so fiercely that he would forget who he was in order to save her. He would sacrifice everything he is to protect her. In the pages of Ultimate Spider-Man we see him do just that. He dies in the arms of Aunt May and his last words are “I saved you. I did it…” He dies knowing he protected the person who means the most to him. He acknowledges that he couldn’t save Ben, or Norman Osborn, but he could save Aunt May.

This is the love that inspires young readers to be proud of their love for their mothers. It’s the relationship that idolizes innocent and unconditional love. Also, it’s the reason I buy my mother flowers and chocolates on Valentine’s Day.

See you next time, Reader.

Let’s talk Mysterio. But first, here’s the description of Spider-Man: Far From Home on IMDb’s official site as of today:

“Peter Parker and his friends go on summer vacation to Europe, where Peter finds himself trying to save his friends against a villain known as Mysterio.”

Do I have to point out “against”. How do you save your friends against someone?

All prepositions aside, let’s get down to talking about Spidey and his nemesis, Mysterio! When you consider Mysterio on your first go, you might think something along the lines of, ‘He’s not a big deal. Just some failed stunt man turned special effects artist who is down on his luck with some villain-esque bravado.’

Then you might think, ‘Oh wait, this is the guy who tricked Wolverine into killing all of the X-Men single-handed.’

It’s hard to imagine, but both of those are accurate. He’s a small time guy who started off as nothing more than a bother to the ol’ Web-Head in issue #13 of Amazing Spider-Man when he started out running around in Spider-Man’s get-up to steal a big bag of cash. I googled it. Then I read the issue. Verified facts are cool, kids. Go us!

Though it turned bleak for Spider-Man during his first encounter with the man-who-wears-a-fish-bowl-on-his-head, Mysterio is thwarted and sent to prison. Much to the chagrin of J.J.J.

With this fateful issue, Mysterio does achieve a slot in Spidey’s ever-growing roster of rogues. When you think back, in 1964 this was a pretty short list. Even so, he’s managed to keep his head afloat in the long years since his first appearance by being such a unique and interesting character. But a hero? Don’t be fooled by the trailers, true believers. My bet is that he’s up to his old tricks again. In the Spider-Man: Far From Home trailers we’ve seen so far, Mysterio looks like he’s out to do good, fighting off a big water monster-man, who may or may not be a villain known in some small circles as Hydroman.

So, could he turn out to be a genuine hero? Not a chance. Only J. Jonah Jameson himself would be fool enough to believe that one.

Rather than worry about whether Mysterio will turn out to be a villain after all, I am much more eagerly waiting to see just how Pete’s friends will be saved against Mysterio. Will they be resting their heads on his shoulders when Spider-Man swings in? Maybe it’s a back-to-back kind of set-up, where everyone is facing outward and Mysterio is supporting the group.

I suppose we’ll just have to wait and find out when the movie hits theaters.

Until then, Readers. Thanks for swinging by.