“And indeed there will be time

To wonder, ‘Do I dare?’ and, ‘Do I dare?’

Time to turn back and descend the stair,

With a bald spot in the middle of my hair —

(They will say: ‘How his hair is growing thin!’)

My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,

My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin —

(They will say: ‘But how his arms and legs are thin!’)

Do I dare

Disturb the universe?

In a minute there is time

For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse…

Shall I part my hair behind?   Do I dare to eat a peach?

I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.

I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.”

–

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

T.S. Eliot

 

When I was born, I technically did disturb the universe.  I couldn’t help it.  I don’t remember putting in the effort, and I don’t remember much of anything beyond that point for a good five-years, but I did disturb the universe.  I am to blame for that.

Is that right, though?

Should I have made such an impression, and how much more of an impression am I allowed to have?

While driving on the highway you will notice me.  I am the one going the speed limit, taking his time on curvy roads, avoiding cyclists with a wide birth, and allowing others to pass me without much hesitation or grumbling.  That being said, I do hold up some eager drivers out there.  On two lane roads, when I am given just the right amount of space for my care and no one else’s, I do tend to block some people’s progression on the road as they try to urge me into going beyond the set speed limit. I impede those who want to go faster.  Not because I am making an effort to slow them down, but by merely following the rules of the road, I am now disturbing their universe.

Am I allowed to do that?  Am I allowed to put my goals above everyone else’s goals?  Can I go at my own speed even if it slows or speeds others up?  And if I am allowed, do I dare?

At times I find myself under a lot of pressure to behave in a manner imposed upon me by others.  They are imposing their own beliefs onto me, disturbing my universe.  If this is right or wrong, it doesn’t matter.  They are disturbing my universe.

“Do I dare to eat a peach?”

Whose peach am I taking away?  Who is not getting to eat that peach because I ate it. Who am I saving from that peach?  If the pit were rotten and worm infested, am I taking away the pain of biting into that peach from someone more or less fortunate than myself.  In that moment, I would be more less fortunate than them because of my actions.  I am disturbing their universe, but I am taking away pain that they would otherwise be enduring, and they no longer ever have to experience the pain that that peach would have brought them.  But the joy of biting into that perfect peach, if that be the case, is never going to be theirs either.  In either case, I am disturbing their universe. For better or worse I am changing the way they experience the world, and I am the one to blame regardless of the outcome.

Am I allowed to do that?

What are the consequences if I eat a peach, if I disturb someone’s universe?  What consequences will befall me, and only me, if I disturb the universe around me?  Not just someone else’s universe, but the universe in its entirety?

I’m not sure. Because I have only ever experienced these consequences and do not know the world in which the consequences do not exist.  Because I exist, I have only ever experienced a world in which the consequences of my existence have been played out. And every time with no other world to compare them to.

In the episode of Futurama entitled “The Farnsworth Parabox” we find our heroes transported, through a cardboard box, into a world in which all coin flips from their universe came out the opposite way.  This means that every time they, any of them, flipped a coin that resulted in heads in their universe, in turn resulted in tails in this other universe.  Let’s call them ‘Universe A’ and ‘The Fighting Mongooses’.  In Universe A, Fry and Leela were not married, Bender had a Fog Hat Grey finish, and the Professor did not have a stylish head wound. In The Fighting Mongooses, Fry and Leela were married, Bender had a gold finish, and the Professor had a stylish head wound. All of this because of the reversed outcomes of parallel coin flips.

Now, this is an imagination of what could happen regarding views of alternate universes and the decisions we make and how those decisions we make effect the world around us, and the universe beyond that. There are theories out there that outlay possibilities of existing parallel universes, my favorite being The Mandela Effect.  In a quick summary that does not do the Effect justice, The Mandela Effect is a theory that proposes the idea that people come from different universes, and, at some point in their lives, come over to the universe we currently all reside within. Those people hold memories from their childhood from the other universe, but otherwise do not realize that anything else is different. For instance, The Berenstain Bears in their universe being called The Bernstein Bears.

I’m not going as far as proposing the idea, or even supporting the idea, that I come from another universe, or even that you do, reader.  In fact, I’m saying quite the opposite.  I come from the same universe you do, and in that we now belong to the same construct, the universe. We’re not given the opportunity to view a world in which we don’t exist, and as far as we know, that universe doesn’t exist.

How much of your action and how much of my action are we allowed to impose upon one another?  How much can I do, how much am I allowed to do, before I’ve completely altered your actions?  And is that too much?  Am I, as a fellow being in this universe allowed to fully alter another human being’s experience in this universe?  And by writing this, haven’t I already altered too much?

My goal as a writer, the reason behind me wanting to become a full-fledged published author, has always been to inspire people the way my favorite authors have inspired me.  I would like to influence others to enjoy reading, to live with imagination, to have dreams and the ability to envision those dreams being conquered and achieved. It’s impossible to achieve my dream unless I influence other people.  It’s impossible for me to achieve my dream without disturbing the universe. I didn’t make the rules, but I abide by them.  I occupy my space, I occupy the same space as everyone else in this universe, and that, by pure and simple logic, means that I will disturb the universe and I am allowed to do just that.  Just as much as anyone else.  Just as much as you are entitled to disturb the universe you exist within, reader.

You have the responsibility of eating that peach.